Dear Diary: The Rollercoaster Of January 2024
The first month of January always feels like a lot of pressure, everyone making their New Year's resolutions and goals that they want to reach. I didn’t want the pressure and stress, so I decided to try something a little different. Each month I will choose three words and use them as my goals instead of overly descriptive goals, keeping it simple, no stress but effective.
My three words for January are:
Now January started off really strong. I was ready to make changes, to organise myself better, and I started doing that by decluttering and organising my bedroom. I was doing so well that I actually completed my first DIY project of the year, creating my book nook. It turned out so pretty and gave me a boost of accomplishment that I needed.
Travel: Travelling this month was super quiet, and I haven’t explored anywhere. However, I will be travelling to Devon and London in Feb to visit my boyfriend's family and to celebrate his mum's birthday. Also, my boyfriend and I have been planning our June road trip, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it and document my travels.
Food & Drink: I am a real foodie and love to talk about all things food, so each dear diary, I will be dedicating this area to my favourite dish of the month and telling you all about it just because why not haha. So, the dish of the month winner is (drum roll, please) my mum’s Sunday roast. It's been a while since we've had a roast, and it was delicious, but my absolute favourite part of a roast is the Yorkshire puddings.
TV series I watched: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Bolt thief series on Disney Plus; I was obsessed with the Percy Jackson movies when they first came out and was gutted they didn’t make the final movie. So, when I saw a TV series coming out, I was very excited to watch it. At first, I wasn’t sure if it was going to be any good, but actually, I did get into it and honestly, I am disappointed there is only 8 episodes. However, I’m hoping that there will be a series 2. Ratings: 3/5 stars.
Book: Currently, I am reading Murder on the Orient Express. I'm only a few chapters in, and this will relap over to Feb, but I’m really liking it so far. I’ve always been a fan of murder mysteries, and I can’t wait to finally say I have read Murder on the Orient Express.
Experience: This month, sadly, one of my dogs, Rilie, passed away. He was only one year old, my little baby marshmallow, and it was heartbreaking and soul-crushing because losing an animal is like losing a family member. It still feels weird without him quiet and empty, which is hard to believe considering we have 5 other dogs. But as well as losing my Rilie, my depression and anxiety have been through the roof, and I've been struggling to sleep. I’m like a nocturnal human right now, and I think between the heartbreak of losing my pup and the stresses I have constantly going on at the moment plus all the overwhelming flood of emotions I’m feeling, it has left me finishing January not as positive as I was hoping.
What I take away from this is what I always take away after losing an animal, and that is that pain and loss you never get over, but you learn with time to accept and cope with. I do believe that even though I can’t see my Ri Ri anymore, I feel he's always with me.
Mental & Physical Health: Mentally, I'm about a 4 out of 10, but I think all things considered, that is completely understandable. Physically, I’m learning to love myself for how I look. Yes, sometimes my insecurities get the better of me, but hey, I’m only human. Even though I haven’t been very active this month, I plan to do better in February.
January has been a bit of a rollercoaster start to the year, but as much as I hate saying this because I feel it's a phrase of emptiness, life must go on. And with the support of my loved ones, I’m trying to get back on the positive path.
Since becoming a writer, I’ve wanted to show the raw reality of my dark side, not just all my happiness, sunshine, and unicorns because I want others to know it's okay to not be okay and everyone is going through something. It's okay to fall down, but when you get back up, things can get better.
I’m sorry my first dear diary hasn’t been the most upbeat and uplifting, but I want to tell the truth. I want you all to know the real me. I’m not someone who hides who I am. I want to use my experiences to help others going through similar things. I want others to know you are not alone in this world.
So January, it's safe to say I’m done with you, but here's to February being a lighter, brighter and a happier month.